Two years after the Satyam fiasco which led me to full time writing, I didn’t imagine that I would be at the crossroads once again. On June 5, 2011 it happened again. There’s no better way to describe it, but it did almost feel like déjà vu. As some of you already know, I have quit my job at Southscope magazine. The irony is that only a few months ago, I thought I had found something which I loved immensely and there was no reason why I should leave the job. So, what happened over the past few months? A lot, if you ask me. Right from sharing a cigarette with a director, to calm my nerves, on my first assignment to having a two hour conversation with Siddharth, it’s been a memorable journey and I leave with some great memories.

Film journalism is a funny thing for someone who isn’t necessarily a journalist. While I was never trained in writing, the only thing that kept me going was my passion for cinema. I did try my best to write in a better manner and I think I have done well to some extent. I love movies and that’s the reason why I used to end up writing more than 2000 words in less than 4 hours. It’s not an easy task, especially when you have no clue if what you have written is good enough. The reason why I say Film journalism is a funny thing is you are never sure if you are writing what’s true. Sure, your job is to quote films celebs verbatim, but then at times you have a hunch that they are making shit up right on the spot. So, do you go back and write with the same conviction? How do you know if someone is being honest or not? Quite often, sensational interviews where stars reveal some well-kept secrets are seen as the epitome of honest writing. How does one know that they are speaking their heart out? In all possibility, a well written, sugar coated article is as good as a sensational article, but then it’s quite subjective. It’s only then that I understood that there’s a huge difference between a film journalist who is very critical about certain things and someone who writes about movies because he’s good with words & loves movies at the same time. I fall into the second category. On second thoughts, I have no regrets about the path I had chosen. But there are few things which I do regret, like not being able to strike conversations instantly or even introducing myself to a celeb for the first time. These traits held me back initially and some part of that has stuck to me even after a year. No wonder, I don’t know most of the people whom I would have liked to meet.

In the past year or so, I have had the privilege of interviewing Venkatesh, Nagarjuna and several other actors, actresses, directors and technicians. Since I didn’t want to sound like a dumbo who didn’t know anything about their work so far, I did make it a point to read some of their previous interviews and also watch some of their films just to get a perspective. The first five minutes is the most critical part of a conversation. It’s a lot like going on your first date. You have no idea what to talk or how to open the conversation, yet all you have is five minutes to make a good impression which would eventually lead to a good conversation. The golden rule is that everyone is running short of time, so you gotta have your backup questions ready. Amidst all this drama, we end up forgetting what to ask unless you have a specific agenda. Why ask so many questions? Because people don’t want to spill the beans and when they don’t, you end up making shit up to meet the word count of your article. There were instances where I had no control over how much I was writing. Basically you fall in love with everything that you have so painfully conjured and to edit them ruthlessly is heartbreaking. Once, I had to cut down a 5000 word article to 2500 words. I couldn’t and the task eventually fell into my editor’s hands.

There are pros and cons of everything you write. For instance, I don’t usually ask about their personal lives or controversial questions because it seems less important to me. While it makes my job relatively easier to concentrate about their work, the article ends up being a boring read. People love to know what their favourite stars do off screen and to get to that level isn’t easy for a journalist. Quite often, you get answers which you must have read kazillion times in different newspapers, magazines or they simply reply, “It’s none of your business.” On a different note, I have had to travel over 50 kms to meet a gentleman who had written a book on Savithri and his admiration for the actress & the effort he had put in to write that book stunned me. Once, I was so enamoured with an actress that I didn’t have the courage to look into her eyes and interview her. She would have caught me blushing! True story. At times the conversations have stretched beyond 15-20 minutes, which is usually the amount of time you get to interview anyone. Just for the record, the longest I have spoken to someone has been for an hour. Most part of those conversations never makes it to print and all I end up is memories, references and maybe even acquaintances.

Often, you realize that the rumours you hear about someone are completely baseless. When I interviewed a director, who was known to be media-shy, the conversation went so well that I didn’t understand whether he was very kind to me or did I do something to set the ball rolling. A month later, when he read the interview, he was humble enough to tell me that it was the best ever article someone had written about his work. Moments like these are so gratifying that you almost tend to forget the hardships you have had to face while writing it. It’s called the Writer’s Block and it’s a terrible phase to be in when you have to meet deadlines.

So what really changed over the last few months? It was the loss of innocence. When you enter into a system, for you to be completely become a part of it, you end up paying a price. At times your perseverance is your only solace and it’s necessary to be on your toes all the time. Also, bonding with people, helps a lot! I understand how much people love their favourite actors, actresses and directors, but once you are in the beat, things change. You can’t be in awe with someone and to maintain a neutral stance is even tougher. And then you see them away from the glitz and glamour, you realize there’s hardly any difference between you and them. Your whole perspective of their work, personality changes and finally when you watch a film featuring some of those celebs, it’s not the same anymore.

On a parting note, I must say that there’s a severe dearth of quality film journalists who write about Telugu Cinema in English. There are plenty of websites and blogs where scores of people have been writing for quite sometime. Most of the times, the language used by writers is bad, to put it bluntly. So, if you believe that you can write well and love Telugu cinema, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t enter the zone. It really doesn’t matter where or rather whom you write for. The advent of social media has made it quite easy for anyone to reach out to a wide audience and I stand testimony to that. Not that I am necessarily good at it, but I would like to believe that it all started right here, with this blog. So what do you need the most? A Voice. Find it! And keep writing till you get bored of movies. Quite frankly, it’s not really about the people, it’s the magic of being inside that dark theatre where you end up cheering, laughing, loving & hating moving images.

P.S: I really don’t know what I am going to do next. I guess I’ll figure it out eventually. You always do, especially when you know that you can’t live without what you love the most.

P.P.S: The image has been used only for illustrative purpose.

By

Hemanth

Liked the blog? Follow Hemanthology @ http://facebook.com/hemanthologyand @http://twitter.com/crhemanth